Let's go to the beach...

...or not. Today's burst of sunshine reminded us all that summer is fast approaching, and with it the inevitable battle to secure the perfect bikini body. This recurring nightmare means that rather than looking forward to sunning it up on a golden beach for a couple of weeks, many women dread the thought of baring it all by the pool.

In a survey conducted by Nivea, forty five per cent of a group of 18-60 year old women said that they felt more nervous about stripping down to swimwear than they felt baring all to a new partner for the first time. Seventy nine percent said that they would use a sarong or similar garment to cover up their bodies on the beach, even if it meant comprising the tan.

There were numerous other stats, detailing exactly which areas produced most concern, and showing the differences between age groups. It was an interesting way to pass the time for five minutes in the sun, but as I read, I couldn't help but laugh at the hypocrisy of it all.

The article clearly intended to promote a feeling of solidarity in women, as they discovered (somewhat unsurprisingly) that the plight they face every summer is shared by fellow females. However, why is it that we have these feelings of insecurity in the first place? Could it possibly be the hundreds of images of celebrities frolicking in postcard-worthy settings in minuscule bikinis that are splayed across tabloids and magazines every day? Just a thought. 

The story itself featured on the daily mail website, a guilty pleasure of mine. It's undeniably a great source of celebrity gossip, and it's the perfect way to while away twenty minutes on a lunch break without exerting any brain power. Regular readers will know that the online page feature thumbnails and snippets of stories running down the right-hand column. Alongside this particular article, I counted FIVE bikini-clad celeb pictures, and that's just in the space directly alongside the story, I scrolled down to discover even more. And, big shock, there wasn't an ounce of cellulite in sight. 

When women are pictured who do have a more conventional figure, it's usually to ridicule them for a wobbly thigh, or a hint of orange peel. This isn't news, the public have been aware of this tainted portrayal of women in the media for a few years now. And yet, we still buy into it. We still ogle over pictures of perfectly figured singers and actresses and wonder why we don't look like them. Could it be that we don't have personal chefs and trainers, and that our nine-to-five jobs get in the way of spending four hours a day at the gym? 

These statistics shouldn't be shocking, they're just another example of how damaging the media has become to our self esteem. Comparing ourselves to these aspirational celebrity figures is torture, it's something that very few 'real' women will ever achieve. Even with a healthy diet and regular exercise, we don't have the luxury of a personal photoshopper in daily life, airbrushing away our imperfections as we preen by the pool.

I don't take particular pleasure in stripping off in front of strangers, if I did I'd be supplementing my wage in a strip club (journalists earn a pittance). But I'm not going to let my petty concerns stop me from enjoying my holiday. We only live once, why spend it all in the shade wrapped in a sarong hiding behind oversized sunglasses? These days, if you do have body hangups, there's a bikini or bathing costume to help alleviate them anyway. Besides, everyone's knows a tan is slimming, and you're not going to get one of those unless you bare some skin! 

The Other One

While everyone else's attention may be firmly fixed on a certain pregnant member of Destiny's Child (it's just a baby, it's not going to come out of the womb singing and/or rapping you overexcited fools) my focus has been on new X Factor judge Kelly Rowland.

Cheryl's designer clad feet have barely left the judging panel, and already Kelly is stealing her style crown - way before the live shows and the spectacular frocks. Her quirky and cool outfits combined with THE most shiny hair to have ever graced a television screen are a far cry from some of the tacky coordinated disasters that appeared in the DC days.





My favourite so far has been the yellow blazer ensemble, having a penchant for a nice bit of tailoring and a bright colour, it was a perfect example of relaxed, effortless style.

 
While I definitely won't be sporting the killer heels around campus, (or ever) and bare legs would get frostbite in this weather, this look could easily be adapted to suit the recent chillier climate with some black opaques. There's now less than a month until uni starts again and, being on a fashion course, sporting a stylish first-day-back outfit is about as essential as having a pen and paper. Adding another blazer to the collection will definitely be on my back-to-school agenda, especially with the ol' birthday coming up (I like money).

Anyone who buys me this necklace would have my eternal love and gratitude.

Now You See It...

Since McQueen launched his optical illusion dress in s/s 2009, other brands and designers have been creating garments that use colour and pattern to dazzle the senses. There's no need to sweat it out in the gym, or cut out all those carbs to achieve the perfect hourglass figure or knock off a few pounds, a cleverly designed dress can do it for you. We're not talking spandex panels or hidden corsets, using fabric in an intelligent way can trick the mind into seeing what is or isn't there. 

Kate Winslet recently stepped out in a figure-hugging Stella McCartney design, that emphasised her slim build and nipped her in in all the right places. 

She isn't the first celebrity to use this clever cheat though, as I have noticed:

(Apologies for the shocking cropping, since my Photoshop licence ran out it's been a constant battle with Paint to produce anything of a half-decent quality)

Although a designer dress may break the bank balance, it's still a cheaper and much less painful alternative to cosmetic surgery.

I haven't seen any high-street versions as of yet, but I'm sure it won't be long until they're offering us the perfect figure for under fifty quid.

Seoana xoxo

I Wanna Be Like You

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"
This is the value my mum desperately tried to instil in me throughout my childhood, in a bid to stop me from punching my sister in the head as she relentlessly copied everything I did (sorry sis, but you know it's true. I was your inspiration.)

When it comes to this principle, I think there is definitely a line that can be drawn between replicating something you've seen and like, and downright originality theft.
If a friend went out and bought a top that they'd seen me wear, I wouldn't mind at all. In fact, I'd ask them why the heck they wasted their money when they could have just borrowed mine! Me and my group of friends unintentially copy each other on a daily basis, not just with our style but as far as our speech and mannerisms too. I always find myself saying phrases and words that I've picked up from my mates, that have subtlety entered my vocabulary until I'm sick of hearing them.

However, there is a point at which this notion becomes a huge pain, and you can feel your individuality being ripped away from you by a personality thief. Whilst aimlessly perusing the web today, I found a particularly bad case of this. The genius behind this year's best single, Swagger Jagger, seems to have a severe case of copycatitus.

During the X Factor, Cher Lloyd was often referred to as a 'mini Cheryl', as she was dressed up and given the big bouffant in the famous style of the pop princess.

And now it looks as though the *ahem* talented young superstar has found a new idol to imitate. As this lady changes her hair style more times than I wash mine, it must be pretty hard work to keep up, but so far Cher is doing a pretty successful job.

Also has a touch of the Jessie J about it too...

Ever heard of personal style Cher? No, clearly not. If you have a stylist, sack her, she's clearly just ripping of Ri Ri.

Being an international superstar I doubt Rihanna's too fussed, but I'm annoyed on behalf of her! How dare this talentless gypsy slut think she can pull it off! (Not a massive Cher Lloyd fan, you may guess)

Rihanna seems to be sticking with the red for the time being, while I think Cher Llyod has gone back to a more natural colour, and is working the ombre trend. Time will tell whether another rip-off occurs, perhaps next it'll be another star in the line for total image plagiarism. Perhaps Britney would be a more apt role model, being from a redneck community I'm sure Cher and her caravan roots will be able to identify...

xSx

The Only Way Is Tan

The elusive perfect tan. Something that females (and a fair number of 'metrosexual' males) are forever striving to achieve. Since the dangers of the Sun were revealed to be more serious that a painful burn and peeling skin, salons and companies across the globe have ploughed millions of pounds into developing the treatment or product that will have us mindless consumers delving deep into our pockets to purchase. Whether it's a sun bed, spray tan, or magical lotions and potions, there is no excuse to be a pasty face these days. 

I say 'us', but I am a very recent convert to the way of the tan. I've dabbled in the past, being from Essex it's pretty much a right of passage. But the combination of being incredibly lazy and dangerously clumsy means that it has always been a mahogany massacre, resulting in more tan ending up on various floors and furnishings that on my ghostly body. 

So I gave up on the quest for a healthy glow, and stuck with the 'English Rose' look - aka I'm so pale I reflect the sun's rays so deal with it. But then came the moment me and the bottled bronzer reunited, for my friend's 'The Only Way is Natasha Barker' themed birthday bash. Seeing as it was for a laugh, and beauty products are an extravagance on my student scrimpings, I opted for Primark's very own 'Faking It' self tanner. Considering it was about£1.50, and although I'm no expert, it did a pretty good job. That is - I was a rich shade of chestnut with minimal tell-tale streakage. 

And I'm not gonna lie, it did turn into a bit of an addiction, for a brief time. Because the satisfaction of having a tan for ONCE in my life, coupled with an incessant amount of Jersey Shore viewing (where the motto is 'Gym, Tan, Laundry) made me crave that amber ambience. But when the bargain burnisher ran out, I didn't bother restocking. It was fun while it lasted, but I wasn't a tanner. I'm a low maintenance kinda gal - most days I don't even brush my hair (it's called the natural look OK guys!).

However, one flick through a magazine, one glimpse at a TV screen and all I see are caramel complexions. Natural is out, and with special thanks to TOWIE and Jersey shore culture, as well as false eyelashes and hair extensions, TAN is the only way to be. Most of the stars have even cashed in on this craving for faking, with Lauren Goodger launching her own tanning product, and Lauren Pope's hair extensions selling out by the head load. 

So must I abolish my natural skin in favour of the Dorito-bath look? (Think cheesy nacho flavour shade) Where would I even begin? A gradual tanner, instant tanner, airbrush tanner, tanning mousse, spray tan, tanning bed...my minds in a golden blur! I can't trust the good ol' British summer to help me, not at the rate it's going at the moment. They'll be floods before I've even got a single freckle! But I fear that the only other option, remaining au naturel, will leave me looking like the least desirable member of Girls Aloud...

I mean, there's embracing your natural beauty and then there's looking like you're allergic to sunlight and have spent the last ten years ensconced in a black cloak in a darkened room underground. C'mon Nic, put a bit of effort in girl!

Next Friday is Pay Day, and this month I'm going pamper-crazy. Seeing as I've been going mental on the overtime and there's no one in Southampton to party away my dollar with, I'm gonna blow this month's wages on a much-needed hair cut and colour, a pedicure and restocking my dwindling make up stock. Will a spray tan be on that list? At the moment it's a strong no, but if this weather improves and the shorts come back out pas tights...well, another trip to Primark may be in order!

Shame For You

From her prom dress and trainer days, to designing a range for New Look, and on to becoming the face of Chanel, Lily Allen as always stood out for her style. Love her or hate her, she was a refreshing change in the music industry in terms of her music and her clothes. Since 'retiring' from the record industry she has pursued her passion for fashion with the opening of her vintage boutique store, Lucy In Disguise. 

Look at my awesome cropping skills. Naaaaaaat.

Needless to say, I was eagerly awaiting the moment she would reveal her wedding dress to the world. I was expecting something classic but original, with the quirky twist that she has become renown for. Instead, I got net curtains.

And from Chanel! Really Karl, I expected more. 1920's inspired, this is one piece of vintage that should have stayed in the past. Lily is a vision in lace that leaves me wishing I was blind. And the doily on her head isn't doing her any favours either.

Kate Middleton is obviously too busy performing her royal duties to have offered Lils any styling tips. A brave choice, but for me it just doesn't work at all. 

And bridesmaid Miquita Oliver didn't fare much better.

I mean, black heels with a peach dress? Come on Oliver, you have more sense than that! 

Known for her risqué, rock-chick approach to styling, this floaty dress does nothing for her. Waist up, it's fine, but then that horrific split just ruins it, and cheapens the whole outfit. 

Wonderful wedding, fashion fail.

Flash Delirium

Ahh fashion. Always ready to break its own rules. 

A bra strap showing - once an unfortunate wardrobe misdemeanour that no fashionista would be caught dead committing. Fast forward to last summer and we were all expected to be prancing around in our lingerie with the 'underwear as outerwear trend'.

Don't mix prints. Otherwise you'll look like a blind clown who got dressed in the dark. But this season it's all about mixing every pattern, colour and texture under the sun, in a rainbow amalgamation that will have passers by reaching for their shades.

The latest rule to be broken, colour clashing. More specifically, two of the brightest, most opposing shades on the colour chart. Unless you've been living in a cave with no internet/newspaper access for the past month, you'll have seen the usually revered style queen Cheryl Cole rocking this fashion 'faux pas' at the American X Factor auditions. Teamed with hair that looked like Farrah Fawcett caught in a wind turbine, it was a brave look to attempt.

Now I'm not saying this is why Simon Cowell decided to ditch her from the X Factor sharpish...but well, yes that's what I'm saying. Bad move Cheryl, you look like the 70's on a very bad trip.

But it seems that Chezza isn't the only one to be experimenting with these dazzling hues. 

A very pregnant Jessica Alba recently stepped out at an awards ceremony swathed in these shades, as did Kim Kardashian at a launch at Debenhams. 

They certainly looked better than poor Cheryl, even if Kim's curves did appear to be on the verge on escaping from her outfit.

So when did this happen, when was it OK to don these opposing tones?

There is one lady to thank, and that is legendary designer Diane Von Fustenburg. The embodiment of glamour, her DVF brand is coveted by women across the world. And so if she declares something in fashion, you don't argue with her.

Her Spring 2011 collection takes summer brights to new extremes, combining eye-popping pigments with classic silhouettes that are waltzing right off the catwalk and into celebrity's wardrobes. 

The trend hasn't gone unnoticed by the media, both Paris Vogue and Marie Claire paid homage on the covers of their upcoming issues.

I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for the high-street's spin on the style, I'm thinking H&M will be the place to go to emulate the look on the cheap? We'll see!